Parenting and Patternhood

alex coley
Sep 30, 2026
2 min read

Our sophomore album, Patterns, will be out October 7th. You can pre-save it here.

What is our life if not a never-ending series of patterns? What we do and how we do make up an awful lot of who we are. I have always been fascinated by the punctuation points marking our lives. The moments between what will become the chapters of our lives. I have always taken these moments to reflect on the patterns I make of my own life. Which patterns serve me? Which patterns lead me places I don’t want to go? What new patterns could I introduce to get closer to where I aspire to be? 

I’m not sure I’ve met a punctuation point as significant, transformative, and catalytic as having a child. Some patterns I have loved simply don’t fit, and new time-consuming patterns seem to dominate my day; sleep, feed, play, diaper change, repeat. The transformation of becoming a father and what it means for identity dominates my narrative now, but it’s these shifts in rhythm and flow that really make up the meat and potatoes of the changes that come with fatherhood. Ellen laughs and says “how nice for you” - her changes are much more significant, physical, all-encompassing. 

I saw a video of my grandparents dancing, getting married, mowing the lawn, swimming with their children - my parents. My patterns are merely a reflection of theirs. A series of smaller patterns woven into the great quilt of people, families, generations living their lives. I suppose we are the first generation with that privilege - to watch a video of our grandparents. To see their lives mirrored in our own. 

I buy an old handheld camera and I dance with Ellen, imagining my grandchildren watching it when we are gone. How much of my life will be a mirror of theirs? How much of our life is a continuation of my parents' patterns? The closer I look, the more I see tiny patterns, the more I zoom out, eyes dilated, the more I see my life as a tiny stitch in a much larger pattern. Patterns on patterns in patterns. 

Patterns the song (a song about patterns sort of) and Patterns the album (a pattern itself, with songs about patterns sort of) will be out October 7th. Pre-saving it prompts the all-powerful music robots to share it with more people, more people listening means I get cooler opportunities, me getting cooler opportunities is nice for me and also makes it more likely that I get to make more music which is maybe nice for you. You can pre-save it here.

P.S. We made a music video out of those old videos of my grandparents dancing and mowing and playing and I can’t stop watching it. I’m not sure I ever got to see them dance in person, and I cry a little every time I watch. If you want to tune in for the live release of our music video, you can watch live here

Sharing music is a love language. If you enjoy listening to the music we make, please share it however you share music <3

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